


The Dead Body in the Garden

by Monsterunderthefedora



Series: Before the Apocawasn't [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M, Nanny Crowley, TW: sexual harassment, nanny ashtoreth - Freeform, that time Aziraphale probably killed someone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-29 09:56:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19827739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monsterunderthefedora/pseuds/Monsterunderthefedora
Summary: Crowley is used to men hitting on him while he's Warlock's nanny. But when Aziraphale sees a persistent creep making Crowley uncomfortable, he becomes worse than any punishment Crowley could've imagined.





	1. Chapter 1

"Come on Warlock darling, it's time for a nap." Crowley been down and picked up the four year old as they went into the house.

"I wouldn't mind taking a nap with her if you know what I mean." The cook said as she walked by. Clearly staring at Crowley's ass when they walked by.

"Please that frigid bitch? She barely even says hi when you tell her she looks pretty." Crowley couldn't tell if they knew he could hear or not. Either way he didn't much care. He was used to these idiots by now. If only they'd stop being disgusting pigs in front of the toddler. 

Entering the boy's room Crowley laid the child down and kissed him on the forehead.

"Nanny?" 

"Yes dear?"

"Why are they so mean to you?'' 

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Crowley tucked the blanket in around the child. 

"They're always calling you names."

"That's just because they're stupid. Don't worry, one day you'll be able to crush them beneath your feet. Now you better get some sleep or we might not go to the zoo later." Instantly the toddler rolled over, loudly fake snoring. Crowley held back a laugh at how...adorable it was. God, if Aziraphale found out-

"Oi, Sweetheart, you got a name to go with that ass?" Crowley stopped dead as he exited Warlock's room. Turning he frowned at the man in a servant's uniform staring at him with a grin. The Dowlings hired him a week prior but Crowley never saw much of him.

The nanny tried to turn around and walk away but the man moved in front of Crowley.

"Nice to meet ya, the name's George. Ashtoreth, right?"

"Yes." Crowley tried to move again but the man moved in front of the stairs. This guy couldn't take a hint. "Excuse me, I-"

"So I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go on a date or something? Maybe grab a drink after work?"

"I'll be busy."

"Ah don't be that way Ash." The man smiled at him and Crowley felt his anger grow as George's hand rested on his shoulder. "Why ya so down? Give me a night and I'll show you a great time."

"I'm. Not. Interested." Crowley swatted the hand away and ducked around the man to pass him. The feeling of a hand coming in contact with his ass as he walked past made Crowley turn around pissed. A hand slapping George across the face. "What the hell?"

"Aw come on luv, it was a compliment."

"You ever do that again and I will make you regret ever even looking at me." The man just laughed and Crowley took deep breaths. Don't make a scene, it might make Warlock upset. Reluctantly the demon walked away, refusing to give in to the urge to kill the man there and then. 

Neither Crowley nor George noticed gardener who'd seen the whole thing.


	2. Chapter 2

"Fucking, stupid bitches...should be happy I even looked at their ugly faces..." George Brown stumbled out of the bar, highly intoxicated. The owner escorted him out after several complaints by the multiple women at the bar.

"Excuse me sir, do you need a ride?" George looked up to see a blonde man I'm a taxi cab next to him. He squinted in confusion, swearing it wasn't there a second ago. 

"Yeah. I guess." The man tried getting a hold of the door handle but struggled to open it. 

"Oh here, let me help you." The cabbie got out and grabbed him by the shoulder while he opened the door. George swatted his hands away when he felt an arm brush against his backside.

"Don get fuckin fresh," George slurred out.

"I'm deeply sorry for that sir." The cabbie got back in and turned around. "Where to?"

"Hackney."

"Where in-?"

"I said, fuckin Hackney." Didn't need this prick knowing where he lived. 

"Alright." The cab began to move and George slinked back, not bothering to buckle himself in. 

"So what do you do for a living?"

"None of your bloody business." 

"Alright then." The cabbie focused on the road and George found himself starting to doze off. He didn't notice that the vehicle was going in the exact opposite direction as he did so.

~~

George was jerked awake by the cab coming to a sudden stop. His body falling forward making him hit his head.

"Ah, what the fuck?" The man glared at the cabbie.

"We're here!" Looking up George frowned as he didn't see the familiar stretch of flats. Instead they were near the water...a dock? 

"The fuck are you talking about?"

"You heard me sweetheart!" The man got out and dragged the drunken George out.

"Sweetheart? Do I look like some queer to you?" The man couldn't exactly fight back as the cabbie brought him into an empty factory. It was long abandoned save the single chair set up in the middle. "What the fuck are you-"

"Why don't you have a seat?" The cabbie shoved him into the chair, disorienting the drunk man even further. "Wha....what the do you want?"

"Oh I just wanted to show you a good time, luv." The blonde man leaned forward and in a moment of clarity he recognized the person kind of looked like the gardener from the Dowling estate.

"Francis? Ah fuck, is this about that stupid bitch Ash? She go complaining to her little boyfriend?" The man was surprised when the cabbie...gardener? grabbed him roughly by the throat. Lifting him up just off the ground with one hand. He seemed to glow with an inhuman anger. 

"Don't ever call her that." Francis' voice was calm but his grip tightened causing George to gag. "She is a strong, beautiful woman who shouldn't have to deal with assholes like you on a daily basis who do nothing but sexualize and harass her." George stared at the man in fear. Francis dropped him and the man gasped for air. 

"Jesus fucking Christ. You're mental!" 

"No, I'm tired you people who think they can get away with touching whoever they want." George watched in trying as the man brought out what looked like a sword and he began to blubber.

"Please don't kill me! I'll give you whatever ya want! I have money-"

"I don't want your money." The man leaned down and grabbed George by the shirt. "Tomorrow, you're going to resign from the Dowling household. And if I see you even do much as talking about Ashtoreth again I will make sure no one finds your body. After all, I hear flesh is good fertilizer. Now, do you understand?" The drunk George nodded and Francis let go of his shirt with a smile. "Good! Have fun trying to get home!" With that, George was left alone in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night. 

It wasn't until the morning did he realize his phone was gone too.

~~

"Ashtoreth dear, don't be so mean."

"If they want the bread, they can swim for it." Crowley and Aziraphale sat on the blanket in the middle of the of park as they there bread crumbs out for the ducks to eat. Warlock was close by on the playground trying to climb the jungle gym. "Ah this is nice angel. We haven't fed the ducks for so long. What's the occasion?"

"Oh nothing dear. Just took care of a particularly annoying pest last night is all. Thought it'd be nice to celebrate." Aziraphale said as his hand wrapped around Crowley's with a smile.


End file.
